24 hits ME

As a kid I used love blowing the candles and cutting the cake and even more I used to enjoy that few seconds of excitement before my folks could sing the birthday song.Growing up  and celebrating birth day is stress full. The pressure of having to accept a new numerical to be your birthday and planning a party.

I do not exactly remember all of the birthday parties except one where I wore pink suit, which when I look at the photograph takes me to momentary flashback. The cakes for my birthday did not come from a bakery (there may have been few times we did, but not important) because the fun fact about the cake is that my mommy baked cakes for our birth day. It’s the age of innocence, I guess, to a kid,birthday would mean nothing more than occasion of being pampered ,getting extra attention, having friends over , plenty of food, candies, games and presents. I was excited because that one day in a year made it possible for me to have the world my way.

A lot of people see the whole idea of excitement of a birth day by throwing a party but there is more to it. Is it just about having fun? Well if it is then that would be just momentary. We may never ask why are we celebrating this day? But as time passes by and we grow up we realize birthday is not about celebrating to have FUN. It takes you to a different level when you appreciate your existence. We tend to question ourselves the purpose of being born.

Our birth is an answer to a purpose, hence you are celebrating the birth of a beautiful human being. and realizing that it’s your birth day, that beautiful person is you, you tend to then ask yourself what makes you so special that your birth needs a celebration? What makes you beautiful? I asked myself that question too and I was struck when I did not have a single reason to celebrate 16^th February as my birthday.

When we reflect on how we have changed over time and we did not make contributions for betterment in any sense it leaves us hopeless, I felt hopeless when I thought about all the times I could have utilized in better things than wasting it. There were times where my poor choices cost me trust and love of people I love.

When I was in college I did not know what I wanted then or in future. I quite knew my options but I really did not know my choices All I knew was to dream big but deep inside I was scared to dream those dreams, fearing it may never come true. but one after another and year after year I feel satisfied although I don’t feel full yet.

There must be something I am born for, there must be a purpose and the reason I cannot feel the

Be of energy on this day is because I feel empty inside. I feel like I have not accomplished the purpose.           

   I turned 24 today, I am somewhere towards that purpose and I feel strongly that I will get there some day, and I am ready to endure anything that comes on my wat to get there. I feel like I have known my self better and i came in terms with the changes I have to undergo to be me  it was not easy but it was enlightening as I came across many new experiences , choices, environment  and understandings. I want to leave behind something that i will be remembered "so every one will know I WAS HERE, "

I can say i am not the same person I used to be. i have embraced change into ma life.  I have not grown up enough, or matured in experiences  to say I understand meaning of life but I am beginning to feel it. The feeling is fearful because its combines a lot of aspects of having to consider the environment outside us and further. The times of being exempted from making mistakes are finally over.

I have had enough to think a lot lately and its has become easier for me to let go what does not belong to me and I cannot have, its so much easier to move on when we feel kicked back. I thank my parents for giving me life and bringing me up to be this person I know inside out. I’m more thankful to my parents for giving me two beautiful sisters with whom I could make awesome memories and share my life with , without two of them and two of you I would have been incomplete. And without us there would have been no “CLASSK”(Chhabilal. ANjulie, Sima , Sippy, Khina)